


Hearts Stay The Same

by caydenotspade



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 15:19:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16663282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caydenotspade/pseuds/caydenotspade
Summary: Sometimes doing nothing at all is the best remedy for broken hearts, and sometimes a certain Time Lord's presence is enough to make the hurt and pain dissipate for a little while.





	Hearts Stay The Same

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to cope a little with irl drama and stress going on. 
> 
> A little insight into the character that is Des (real name; Etaine) is a seer from Gallifrey, whose mind had been wiped (using a chameleon arch) and sent to earth as a now human exile because she disobeyed and went against the Council. She meets the Doctor and further down the road she gets her memories back.

  
    Watching him was one thing.  
   It was indeed a thing altogether, his form almost dancing around the console and his quiet hums as he concentrated on steering the machine to and fro, an almost identical hum reverberating from above her, the sing songs of the TARDIS. She smiled and eased her head into her palm, her grey eyes watching how his frame slipped from one edge of the console to the other, his jacket swaying behind him and his fingers, so so delicate, against the metal and the plastic.  
He was wearing her favorite outfit of his, the one with the hoodie beneath the pea coat with his hair curly and slightly sticky uppy. She smiled at that, when she entered the TARDIS and his features were just as she loved them. He smiled back then, because he knew.  
   There was no destination, simply the Doctor just steering her, no destination in mind. Like driving a car on a summer night, lost in your own mind and you'll end up somewhere far away or somewhere close by and not even realize it. She enjoyed that, when the Doctor set his mind on nothing at all. She enjoyed listening to the sounds of the time machine and his own footsteps against the grate beneath him. She enjoyed his presence.  
And wanting to be near him was another.

   Oh, it certainly was another thing. Although Des enjoyed just watching him and listening, being near him was harder then, especially with him wearing her favorite outfit of his and his small smiles towards her features when he would catch a glimpse of her watching.  
   It was then that he spoke up, catching her off guard.  
     "What is it?"  
   The brunette hummed and sat up suddenly, placing her elbows behind her on the metal stairs, leaning against it.  
     "Nothing, why?"  
     "You seem more lost in thought than normal," he says, from behind the console. "What's wrong?"  
   Des smiled softly and looked away, realizing the Doctor knew her all too well. Three hundred years too well, and sometimes she cussed at herself for allowing the Gallifreyan to know her inside and out. She shook her head.  
     "Just thinking, Doctor." she says, "Go on. Continue."  
   Twelve's eyes stared at her longer than intended and he looked down at the console, grabbed the break pedal, and pulled it down. The TARDIS' movements came to a hault and it was apparent as Des rocked slightly. Her hearts skipped as he rounded the console and made his way towards her.  
     "Is everything alright?" he asked, pushing his coat from behind him out as he sat down next to her, intertwining his own fingers in his lap. Des would be the first to admit that not all was good on earth - a life that she could not say goodbye to, although artificial and faked by the Council, it wasn't something she could let go as it held too many memories and too many people she cared about - but it wasn't enough to vent about. All was well, and it would be. Eventually. She sighed softly and looked up at him.  
   Same eyes and all, and it still blew her away at how he still looked at her the same as he did during his tenth regeneration. Kind and gentle, but studying her features all the same as if looking at a painting. It made her blush slightly and she looked away, but the moment she did, his fingers came to her jaw and he made her look at her once more.  
     "It's nothing, Doctor." she mumbles, reaching up to lay her hand on his own. "I have a lot on my mind but it's.. it's alright."  
   Twelve's eyesight cascaded down her cheeks and to her nose and lips, he watched her, and he realized he was in the perfect position to look into her mind. He'd do it softly, careful not to let it slip that he was intruding, but he knew who he was dealing with. It wasn't just some stubborn human on earth that he needed answers from, this was a seer from Gallifrey that knew him better than anyone in the entire universe.  
   Smiling softly, she did the same, and he then realized that she knew what he was thinking about doing.  
     "If you say so," he says. "Still. What would make you feel better?"  
     "Always so doctery, Doctor." she laughs and stands up, making her way towards the console as the TARDIS lets out a small noise between a beep and hum. Des smiles, her fingertips moving over the buttons.  
     "I need to be." the Doctor says, following along with her, his fingers following the invisible trail the other was making with her hands. "Otherwise I'd have to call myself something like.. Mopey or Drowsy, like one of the seven dwarfs, that would be rather boring wouldn't it?"  
   Des laughed and slowly came to a halt, her eyes scanning up the inner tube of the console and sighed.  
     "Do your feelings change, when you regenerate? Like.. if you had a crush on someone, loved someone.. and then you regenerate, do they change?" she asked, "Never regenerated myself, so.. I wouldn't know."  
   The Doctor's eyes cascaded down the other's back, watching her chest rise and fall with anticipation of his answer. Her questions always led to what was on her mind, as a way of skipping around what she really wanted to say or do or felt. It wasn't that she didn't care about his answer, it was just a means of how she would go forward with her next action. He hummed and he slowly came up behind her, his hands moving down her arm and to her hand, his fingers intertwining with her's.  
   That was the answer, and she let out a soft sigh.  
     "I see."  
     "I think I could become a cactus or an animal hybrid looking creature and I'd still hold some sort of feeling towards you." he says softly, "It's the hearts that never change."  
   Des smiled at that and leaned back, her backside resting against his chest and she felt his hearts beating gently. She remembered the first time, as a human, when she first heard them. She was overly perplexed with his biology, held his wrists and rested her head against his chest and it was all so new back then.  
But now, it was a familiar feeling, hearing or feeling them. Like a home, in a way. The Doctor's natural scent, something akin to peppermint, made it's way to her nose and she closed her eyes against him.  
     "Look at me." he says softly, and he allows her to turn and gaze up at him, her grey eyes scanning over his features. He looked old now. He looked his age, he realized that sometimes, when people ask if he's someone's grandfather. It hurts a little inside, because he certainly doesn't feel over two thousand years old.  
   But oh, the way she looks at him. It's like she's staring back into his tenth face once more, familiarity and love, something that has never changed as the way his hearts never did. Her gaze upon him makes them ache and he takes her hands softly and brings them up to his mouth. He kisses them and she smiles, and he swears he could hear the TARDIS become more silent than she's ever been just for them.  
He remembers when he first brought her on board, all those years ago, the way her face lit up and then proceeded to cry at the overload of what seemed impossible. It was the first time he ever saw someone cry upon meeting the TARDIS, something he wasn't used to, but all the tears that came after that were those of joy and laughter - so, in the long run, it made up for it. He remembers their first fight and all their _see you soons_ , so much that the TARDIS has seen and he wishes he could wrap all the experiences they had together in a small book, perhaps that would make her not hurt so much.  
   Because he knew she was hurting.  
   She was always good at hiding it. Just as he was - Gallifreyans always were with their emotions. But the way her hands shook and her eyes seemed a little more glossy showed that she was barely holding in the dam that was close to shattering.  
     "You're safe here, you know." he says simply, "You could spend an eternity here and allow the pain and hurt to dissipate, and go back to the situation and not have it .. hurt."  
   Des hums gently and leans forwards into him. A little closer now.  
    _She wanted to kiss him_.  
     "I could." she says, "But that feels cowardly."  
   The Doctor blinks and looks down at her hands, notices how young and new they look compared to his but it's okay. "That you are right about."  
    _And that's why he loves you so much._  
     "Doctor?"  
   The way she says his name is lovely. Like a cradle. He hums in response and kisses her knuckles.  
     "Can I kiss you?"  
   The question catches him off guard and he stares down into her grey eyes, there's a soft pleading there but nothing she'd admit. He believes she just wants to feel closer to him than they have been for a while now, and he smiles against her skin and he swears he could feel her hearts skip.


End file.
